Facing Fears

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What are you afraid of right now?  Is there one or more things that you are so worried or fearful about, that it is holding you back?  How can we manage our fears so that they don’t control us?

Well it helps to look at fear and see what it feels like….what and how  does your body respond to when you are afraid?  You know, those signs that can so easily overwhelm or overpower you.  Stomach gets all jumbly, you feel like you want to toss your breakfast, lunch or nothing, your throat gets thick, your head starts to swim, or your hands get all sweaty.  All of those are signs of fear, nervousness, or worry and panic.

We all know that fear can sometimes be a good thing, right?  There are times when you want your body to be able to respond to some kind of threat so you could defend yourself or get away from danger.  That’s a real fear. You might want to be afraid of the consequences when you have done something against the rules or forgotten an assignment or overstepped a guideline your parents have set.  These fears are real.  But they are your responsibility,  because your actions caused the fear.

Fears can seem real especially when you are young.  How many of us had or have an imaginary fear when we were younger? Monsters in the closet? Or dark places?  Some of these we have been able to overcome as we have grown and understood.  Some we could prevent, if we didn’t watch so many scary movies!

Some fears are recent…..many of us were quite fearful the first day of middle school, high school, college, or a new job.  And after we became more comfortable, the fears go away or lessen.

What about our fears of what others might say or do?  It hasn’t happened yet, but it could, right? But it didn’t, but it could, right? Well, maybe…..but how much of your time and energy are you devoting to thinking, worrying, stressing over a “what if”? How many of us are worrying over so very, many things that, we have no control over at all.  We cannot chose what others say about us, we can’t put words in the mouths of others, nor can we take away what others do.  Lots of us worry over things that very well could happen, have happened occasionally to others, but the chances are really, really small that they will happen to us.  So, how much time are we giving to these fears.  Way too much!

Fear also has this crazy way to get us stuck, like totally frozen.  Sometimes in the moment, sometimes for awhile, sometimes for a lifetime.  Often our fears overrule all the good, hard work we have done to prepare for an event, a speech, a competition, or a test.

Fear is the second greatest emotion in life after love.  Fear moves us towards hate, anger, jealousy, envy, and greed.  Fear is in charge of a lot of bad stuff – let’s not give it more power!

Lets consider the methods to help us control our fears:

1) First of all, think and list what are your current fears.

2) Get the facts!  The chances of an alligator walking across my yard in Indiana are pretty slim, so worrying about something that won’t happen just seems, well, kind of silly.

3) Be responsible for your choices, actions, words, and decisions,  that can eliminate lots of fears quickly.

4) Do not be or feel responsible for the actions, choices, words, and decisions of others.  You cannot tell them what to do or say, when or if they are going to say them, so why get anxious about them?

5) Let go of the ” what if” bug!  Some of us have “what if’s” in our head hundreds of times every day.  Wow, that’s a lot of fear about really…nothing.

6) Breathe!  You can learn through yoga, mindfulness practices, and meditation easy techniques to cal ypur fears.  Find a place near you, ask your parents, teachers, or friends or go online and look it up. It’s pretty easy these days to learn about these methods that don’t take much time at all, and they are free!

7) Believe in You! Be You!

 

Namaste,

Robbin

Joiful Life

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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